It’s disappointing—if not totally disheartening—that images from Pippo Pozzato & Friends Charity Soccer Event are only to be discovered on Pippo’s FaceBook via rabid search engine, er, search. Yes, indeed, I could pilfer pictures from there via Screenkap Magick (TM) to post here but that’d reveal I applied no overt efforts in the search for picspam; and effortlessness in the search for picspam puts into question such how devoted one is to picspamming, no?
Anyway, besides the appearance of FuckYeahPhilippeGilbert because Fuck Yeah Cycling Awareness is of the utmost importance, there’s newsworthy news to post here; said news is that Pippo’s Back on Track, hence the track-centric photo. Cute coincidence, no? Even better than seeing Our Subject maybe, perhaps, doing Six Days (still in Katusha colors) is that his 2012 season begins in San Luis which means picspam earlier than Qatar and Oman. There’s no official “official” confirmation of where his new team will race in Belgium during Spring but hopefully they’ll be at most of the Classics, possibly on MCipollini bikes—yikes!
2010 Tour of Qatar…or Oman? Whatever, whichever: Clearly your administrators [who likes to speak of herself in the plural like old-fashioned Royals] enjoy posting images of the Italian Tricolore so, um, so there.
Try Googling “Pozzato” and “Playboy. So, what’d you get? Google claims it’s got over 34,800 results. Just scanning over them you’re find paid writers and forum folks writing how Pippo’s “the last true Italian playboy” and “the undisputed playboy of the peloton” and the like. Baloney, says I, it’s all a marketing ploy! So some guy with fashion flair owns a red Ferrari and lives in glamour mecca Monaco, so what? That isn’t calculus so Vulcan logic needn’t apply; it’s human so it involves smoke and mirrors to create images that are not necessarily reality for whatever the ends are (re: advertisers and politicians).
Look, read what’s the definition of a playboy, m’kay? If too lazy to check with Wikis think of Mr Playboy as a hedonistic dude—probably a douchebag to boot—with money so he didn’t have to do jack squat except file his nails between club engagement like a male Paris Hilton. Hello, really, do male athletes [basketballers up for debate] really got the time to be playboys? Hell no. Especially them underpaid and underappreciated cyclists who have one ginormous workload that definitely doesn’t end when off the bike; they’re whole sporting lives revolve around their body which totally sounds like exploitation but whatever. Also of note, if anyone’s read this far, remember Pippo, alleged playboy, was in a committed relationship since he was on Fassa Bortolo until his Giro stage win; it was committed enough that he got her named tattooed on his forearm in Japanese.
Now, back to marketing. A cyclist’s got to distinguish himself. Wins help, but sometime’s a little flash and pizzazz is needed to further differentiate the product from competitors seeking the few pro berths. Now what sells? Hmm, I wonder—oh yeah, sex! People definitely like to read and write about the intimate lives of celebrities; they might know what’s going on but if you’re young with pretty and/or money then you must be doing something. Obviously logic can be recalled now for this formula: professional cyclist + lothario playboy = ZOMG LET’S PAY ATTENTION 2 JAMES BOND ON WHEELS! Heck, it even seems Mark Cavendish bought it…unless he was in on the joke when he wrote his book. Alas, once the reputation of playboy cyclist is established there’s so escape so why not pose nude for Sidi shoes, eh? Anyway, this isn’t making much sense so just enough pic of Pippo from Playboy—the magazine.
Circa 2001: I am distracted neither by rolled sleeves nor shoeless socks, let alone the psychedelic Mapei pattern, because those bright bidons that look like ketchup bottles distract me from the subject of this photo.
Road to the 2009 Tour de France: Prince Albert of Monaco hearts sports, cycling among them, so he was happy to pose with professionals Pippo, Spartacus, and Tosatto, all participants in the Grand Bocoule which began in the itty-bitty principality which attracts cyclists including Pippo, PhilGil, and Vino.
Credit: If you cannot decipher the watermark it says “Tim de Waele.”
2010 Katusha Team Training Camp: We here at the Pippo Appreciation Society are baffled and bewildered by Astana fans posting pictures of team Katusha at Astanafans.com. We are—or rather were committed to investigating this picture posting intrigue, among the many thousands in Cycledom not involving the UCI but let us not digress; however, we decided against the investigation because it is positively Pippo picspam. And picspam is picspam. And pretty picspam is PRETTY. And SHINY. And PRECIOUS—hey, quiet Gollum! Yes, pretty poolside picspam with Pippo which there is not enough of so will Pippo someday—PLEASE!—race at Curaçao to have his picture taken with the dolphins?
2007: Within minutes of the race, how much time do riders devote to adjusting, say, helmets and sunglasses? Perhaps some of the rituals are rooted in superstitions. The use of teeth to hold bidons and sunglasses is not advised around parents who paid for braces but that digresses from the subject of this blog—Pippo!
2004 Tour de France, Stage 7: After surviving the undulating roads from Chateaubriant (not to be confused with the wine Chateaubriand) to Saint Brieuc (dedicated to one of those obscure Celtic saints), for 204.5 kilometers, Pippo defeated breakaway companions Iker Flores, Francisco Mancebo, and Laurent Brochard, he of the famous mullet; most of the peloton finished ten seconds behind the quartet.
2010 Giro d’Italia: The Pippo Appreciation Society was unable to locate this image in larger form to better display Chibi Pippo because we suspect someone is concealing cute cycling manga from the world.
2009 Tour de Suisse, Stage 2: Pippo rode around without his helmet which one hopes did/does not negatively impact the perceptions of children who are our cycling future so they do not believe they need not wear any helmets like their styling Italian cycling superhero.
2002 Italian Time Trial National Championships: At times, it can be difficult to recall that anyone but Marco Pinotti wore/wears the Time Trial Tricolore. But it happens. And it happened in 2002. Bleached-bot Dario Frigo won, before his troubles with EPO being discovered in the car of his wife. Yeah, always blame the woman…but I digress. Anyway, it was in 2002 that Pippo finished second, ahead of Juri Alvisi—hey, who was/is that? Must be domestic One Hit Wonder. And in fourth was our second favorite Italian [male] cyclist Manuel Quinziato. What—yes, of course Pippo is our favoritest!
2009 Move to Improve Charity Race: At the snarkily called “Tom Boonen and Friends Cyclocross Grand Prix,” Pippo premiered the bello Black Tricolore; not only did the riders succeed in raising over 30,000 Euros for charity but Sven Loch Nys Monster did not appear out of the wilderness to cannibalize “amateur” cyclocrossers.
2010 De Scheldeprijs: Here be the Italian Tricolore worn during the reign of Pippo. Gilded with gold lettering, it was unique, magnifique, fantastique, and chic compared to other national kits, especially those that indulge in patriotic minimalism (re: Teams Liquigas and Movistar). This classic jersey debuted at the 2009 Tour of Britain where Pippo aided and abetted cherub-faced neo-professional Ben Swift, now of Sky, to his first ProTour win. Now why are there so few pictures of Pippo and Ben?
As not only is the cycling season waning but this Tumblr has reached the age of seven days, which is one year in Internets Time, so the picspam and vidspam blitz will slow, for the most part, to one posting per day lest the Pippo Appreciation Society exhaust its visual supplies with its enthusiasm for all things Pippo-related but this shall not take effect until after Lombardia Weekend which Our Hero has the possibility of winning—really! Yes, he really could win over Prince Damiano, PhilGil, Samu et cetera, et cetera.
2009 Tour de France, Stage 14: Finally, the Pretty Committee (re: Italian Tricolore Fashion Committee) could relax as the style-challenged Katusha issued the Italian Tricolor to its liking: stylish, patriotic and classy; thus, it was appropriate for Pippo then although some alterations were required after the Tour.
2010 Paris-Roubaix: In the aftermath of L’Enfer du Nord, emotionally-charged Swiss and Roubaix Champion Spartacus embraced Pippo clad in his reverse-background Tricolore; Spartacus earned his second Pavé while Pippo was consoled with the one-time-only Commemorative Ballerini Pavé for highest-placed Italian finisher. Now, imagine if this Black Tricolore had transformed its wearer a la The Black Swan so that Pippo would be the most stealth Cobbles contenders; oh, to never again be accused of wheelsucking by Tommeke and PhilGil would be the best reward!
2011 Sportel Monaco: Representing the elements of cycling, Vino4Ever, Gossy, and Pippo attended the Sportel Monaco Convention in—believe it or not!—Monaco where international Media grandees converge to congratulate one another on their latest broadcasting accomplishments during the week running up to Lombardia.